you please send a man to repair my downspout. I am
an old age pensioner and need it straight away.
you please send someone to fix our bath tap. My wife
got her toe stuck in it and it is very uncomfortable
the workmen were here they put their tools in my wife's
new drawers and made a mess. Please send men with
clean tools to finish the job and keep my wife happy.
toilet is blocked and we cannot bathe the children
until it is cleared.
want some repairs done to my stove as it has backfires
and burnt my knob off.
is to let you know that there is a smell coming from
the man next door.
Excuses For Not Paying The Rent
can't pay my rent as my BMW is in the shop,
and I cannot afford to pay for both."
can't pay my rent because the cheques come out
of Japan and the plane crashed."
I move, my friends won't know where to find
you see, I cannot pay the rent because my daughter
ate my husband's wages."
deposited my wages in the bank ATM and it got caught
in the rollers. It took six days to tear apart the
had my choice of paying the rent or buying a car.
I bought a car. I knew you would understand."
am sure I paid you -- YOU must have lost it."
towed my car away that was illegally parked and I
refuse to pay my rent until you get my car out of
your fault. You deposited my cheque too late. My automatic
withdrawals went through the bank before the rent
is nowhere else to go. The place I applied to will
not take me because you are evicting me."
courtesy of Randy Chapman, office manager for the
Apartment Association of Seattle & King County,
this reason for not paying the rent: "The house
Stories relating to Landlords
large family, with seven children, moved to
a new city. They were having a difficult time
finding an apartment to live in. Many apartments
were large enough, but the landlords objected
to the large family. After several days of searching,
the father asked the mother to take the four
younger children to visit the cemetery, while
he took the older three to find an apartment.
After they had looked most of the morning they
found a place that was just right. Then the
landlord asked the usual question, "How
many children do you have?" The father
answered with a deep sigh, "Seven...but
four are with their dear mother in the cemetery."
He got the apartment! |
man mentioned to his landlord about the tenants in
the apartment over his. "Many a night they stamp
on the floor and shout till midnight." When the
landlord asked if it bothered him, he replied, "Not
really, for I usually stay up and practice my trumpet
till about that time most every night anyway."
on egotism but short on cash, the young actor was
trying to talk his impatient landlord into waiting
for the rent. "In a few years," he said,
"people will point to this apartment and say
'Jones the famous actor, once lived there.'"
"If I don't get my rent tonight," said the
landlord, "they'll be able to say it tomorrow."
group of American tourists were being guided through
an ancient castle in Europe. "This place,"
the guide told them, "is 600 years old. Not a
stone in it has been touched, nothing altered, nothing
replaced in all those years." "Well,"
said one woman dryly, "they must have the same
landlord I have."
housewife called up a pet store and said, "Send
me thirty-thousand cockroaches at once." "What
in the world do you want with thirty-thousand cockroaches?"
asked the astonished clerk. "Well," replied
the woman, "I am moving today and my lease says
I must leave the premises in exactly the same condition
I found them..."
superintendent of a large, snooty apartment building
got the ultimate revenge when he was called for the
umpteenth time to fix a tenant's clogged toilet. Going
to her apartment, where the female tenant happened
to be giving a fancy dinner party for other tenants
in the building, the super had to endure her telling
all the assembled guests that he was a complete incompetent
idiot. Furthermore, she got them all to go to the
bathroom door to watch his clumsiness. He didn't say
anything, but merely concentrated on fixing the toilet,
while she kept on complaining about the bad service.
So busy was she complaining, that no one noticed when
the super reached quickly into his tool bag... A minute
later, he held something up triumphantly and told
her and the assembled guests, "I've found what
was clogging your toilet!" All the guests broke
into shocked laughter, and the woman turned a bright
beet red. The super was holding up a large yellow
banana with a red condom wrapped around it. The woman
never complained again.